The Apple Didn’t Fall Far From The Tree

I think growing up around alcohol and drugs kind of paved the way for me to follow in their footsteps. The donor was a drug addict, the step dad had problems with drugs and alcohol, a few of the siblings on my mom and step dad’s side were also addicts. I seen it all, things no child should ever bare witness to. I thought that I would end up just like them when I got older because you learn from your environment. Right? Well, it was a scary thing to see when you’re a young child. I mean, one minute you see them as regular people, next minute, they’re like zombies. Slurring words, stumbling, walking sideways, falling and a few of them would get really violent, even with each other. My eyes are scarred for life. They have seen so many horrible and tragic situations. I wish I could erase all the bad and replace it with what I think it should have been like. When I started drinking, smoking cigs and weed, I was like, yup, I’m just like them and I hated it. I didn’t want to be like them, I took pride in always being different, so I said to myself that I wouldn’t allow myself to follow in their footsteps. I quit smoking weed and stopped drinking but held on to my cigs. I wasn’t ready to let go of those just yet. Remember, I’m just a teen in high school and I’m cursed with all this negativity since birth that has lead me to this really dark place. To be doing all these things already was sure to be the death of me. Then I thought, would that be so bad??

• Posted in: Biological ♦ Life
• Tagged: addict, afraid, alcohol, child, death, donor, drugs, environment, fall, negative, parents, scar, scared, scarred, siblings, stumble, tragic, violent, witness, zombie