Monthly Archives: October, 2014

I Did It

The title says it all. Haha. I actually did it without incident. Anxiety did not show up to our trick or treat session. Even though we were in a crowd full of people, it was outside in the wide open. So I was able to just walk away to a not so crowded spot and …

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Trick or Treat Time

Time to get the little one ready for trick or treating. The forecast calls for rain but hopefully it won’t come until after we are done. The little one is going to be a zombie nerd. I tell you, there is no limit to the imagination in that brain. It scares me sometimes. I cringe …

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The Loser is Psycho

Some time went by and the loser had made contact a few times only to threaten me or to claim that the baby wasn’t his. He would tell me if I keep the baby I better not say it was his because he’d kill us. He’d say I better watch out because he had people …

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A Mask Over My Mask

Here it is four in the morning, have yet to fall asleep. I started thinking about the irony I will be faced with later on today as we prepare to take the little one trick or treating. I will be wearing a mask over the mask I wear everyday. So, I’ll have on two masks, …

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The Impact of Life

Been thinking a lot about many different things and how I came to be this lonely depressed insomniac. It seems as though my mind is stuck in different tragedies that still feel very real and I’m having such a difficult time separating the past from the present. I can’t, for whatever reason let them go. …

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Funky Mood Swings

Since sleep only comes around when it damn well pleases, I have been in quite the funk. My mood swings are above and beyond. My mental state is at a new low and my mind seems to be running in reverse. I can’t get a grip on the handlebars of my life. I feel like …

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A Cocktail Before Bed

Took a couple of muscle relaxers and a couple of pain killers in hopes to relax me to the point where I just randomly fall asleep without even realizing it. I think those are the best sleeps. The ones that just happen, because you don’t expect it to and when it does, you don’t even …

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Full Circle

My mind is spinning uncontrollably, I don’t know how to make it stop. I feel so dizzy, yet I’m laying in bed. Been trying for hours to go to sleep, but these thoughts won’t let me. My thoughts range from I’m thirsty to what the hell is wrong with me. Seriously, that is something I …

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The “Loser”

Given the terrible situation I was fortunate to get out of, I felt really low. Like, I was ashamed. I’d walk with my head down and unable to make eye contact for fear that I would be judged or made to believe that it was somehow my fault and I deserved it. This loser stole …

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Been There, Done That

I’ve seen and done a lot in my younger adult years. Some things I can say I’m not proud of and others I can hold my head high with pride. One thing I am not proud of was being involved in an abusive relationship. It started out pretty much like they all do. You know, …

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