The Apple Didn’t Fall Far From The Tree

I think growing up around alcohol and drugs kind of paved the way for me to follow in their footsteps. The donor was a drug addict, the step dad had problems with drugs and alcohol, a few of the siblings on my mom and step dad’s side were also addicts. I seen it all, things no child should ever bare witness to. I thought that I would end up just like them when I got older because you learn from your environment. Right? Well, it was a scary thing to see when you’re a young child. I mean, one minute you see them as regular people, next minute, they’re like zombies. Slurring words, stumbling, walking sideways, falling and a few of them would get really violent, even with each other. My eyes are scarred for life. They have seen so many horrible and tragic situations. I wish I could erase all the bad and replace it with what I think it should have been like. When I started drinking, smoking cigs and weed, I was like, yup, I’m just like them and I hated it. I didn’t want to be like them, I took pride in always being different, so I said to myself that I wouldn’t allow myself to follow in their footsteps. I quit smoking weed and stopped drinking but held on to my cigs. I wasn’t ready to let go of those just yet. Remember, I’m just a teen in high school and I’m cursed with all this negativity since birth that has lead me to this really dark place. To be doing all these things already was sure to be the death of me. Then I thought, would that be so bad??

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6 Comments

  1. Just Plain Ol' Vic

    The fact that you realize that you do not want to be like those you grew up with and have had the conviction to make some changes, you showed that you can make you’re own positive choices in life.

    Keep up the good fight!

    Like

    • Thank you for that, it’s just the things that have happened in my life that I had absolutely no choice or control over is what has me broken. This is my struggle and I feel like I have been fighting my whole life, I don’t know how many more rounds I can go. I honestly don’t know if there is any fight left in me. I am grateful for your words of encouragement, they do give me hope. Thanks again.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Just Plain Ol' Vic

        I think if you dig deep, you would be surprised at how much fight you have.

        It is a great big world out there and I would bet that you have only seen a minute portion of it. Isn’t the wonder of seeing what is around that new corner worth fighting for?

        Like

      • You are so right about it being a big world and only seeing a portion of it. I have myself believing that while walking through life with my head down, I can’t miss what I haven’t seen. I have to start convincing myself otherwise. Thank you.

        Liked by 1 person

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