Monthly Archives: August, 2014


Why cant my mind be quiet just for a little while? It sounds so loud in my head it makes my ears ring. It’s like a television you can’t turn off no matter what you do. The voices and images projecting off of emotions you wish you didn’t have. The painful memories hidden deep within, …

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One of the down falls to having depression and insomnia is isolating yourself. The depression keeps me from wanting to be around people while the insomnia has me so exhausted that even if I wanted to be out, I don’t have the energy to do so. I’m here in my room doing absolutely nothing, while …

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Emergency Room

So I’m sitting here bored as heck, I start going through a pile of papers sitting on my desk. Among them were release papers and follow up instructions from our local children’s hospital. What happened was, we had to take our youngest child to the ER for high fever, sore throat, horrible cough and really …

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Lunch time

Bout to eat some bomb Popeyes right now. Smells so good….. Well, I finally dozed off around 9am then woke up at 1030am so I was able to get a good hour and a half of sleep. A power nap if you will. I just look like I went through it. Haha. Bags so big, …

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Still awake

Still awake. Haven’t been able to fall asleep. Just gonna stay awake since it’s already a new day. Let’s see if I can be productive today as sleep deprived as I am.

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No luck

Here we are 4am still wide awake as can be. The entire house is creepy quiet, except for the humming noise of an oscillating fan. Tossing and turning every couple of minutes. Even tried rocking myself to sleep. Mom suggested I go lay in the car with the windows cracked. She said I need the …

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Over 24 hours

Ok, it’s been a little over 24 hours since I last slept. I am exhausted but my mind won’t shut down long enough for my body to sleep and regenerate. I keep looking over at my spouse who is sound asleep without a care in the world. Peaceful as can be, and then there’s me, …

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Feeling lost and alone in a crowd full of people. Invisible to no one who doesn’t see me. Shouting out for the world to hear, only they can’t because I don’t exist. Where am I on this great big earth, but a little speck in a magnifying glass. How do I begin to fit in …

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Thinking thoughts

Just here thinking thoughts as usual. Haven’t been very productive today. Did not accomplish one task at all. Feeling a little defeated even though I have yet to start. Mind is running a mile a minute, wish it would slow down so I could pick just one thing in particular to focus on. Too many …

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The struggle to sleep

Insomnia is real and it’s one bad mother. Laying in bed with all the lights out and quiet as the night is dark. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve been here before, eyes wide open with nothing in sight. The only sounds I hear are the thoughts in my head. Desperate to …

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