Sleep Don’t Come Easy
So my doctor suggested I stay awake for two days straight without falling asleep or taking little cat naps. Her logical explanation was simple. If I stay awake for those two days, then I should be so exhausted and ready to fall asleep when the family goes to sleep. Sure, that’s fine and dandy. Makes sense that I would be so tired my body would just collapse. However, my other problem is staying asleep. So, even if I do fall asleep, I don’t stay asleep. I will be wide awake after an hour or two and then the cycle would start all over. I think she really thought that she solved my crisis. I mean, come on, don’t you think I’ve done that?! Like seriously. I’ve mentioned that there are times when I’ll go without sleep for a few days and then I’ll just pass out from exhaustion but before I know it, I’m wide awake. So, while it sounds good, it isn’t. I have been plagued with insomnia for years and years. I guess I’m just used to it, but just because I’m used to it, doesn’t mean I don’t want to sleep. I’m thrilled to sleep, even if it is a cat nap. It’s so weird, but when I take those little naps, it’s like, I feel regenerated or something. I can function without dragging my feet on the floor. I don’t know how, but I do. Now, what I need to figure out is how to stay asleep. I can deprive myself of sleep for days to trick my body into going to sleep. What can I do to get a full nights sleep without taking a handful of prescription or over the counter drugs? Even as sleep deprived as I am, I’m a super duper light sleeper. I hear everything and everything wakes me up. I think it’s also because I’m constantly worrying, so any little noise, there I am going to check it out. I think I’m afraid that the one time I do stay asleep, is when I’m going to be needed but not there because I’m sleeping. I couldn’t live with that guilt. I’d rather never sleep than know that I wasn’t awake when my family needed me. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t. What to do?!?!