Second Time Around
Juggling a child, a boyfriend and three jobs, yes, I said three jobs, it was really starting to wear me down. I felt like I didn’t have time for anything. I barely seen my baby, let alone my boyfriend. I would talk to them on my breaks or sometimes they would come hang out with me on my lunch break. I would work one job Monday through Friday from 6am to 2:30pm, then I would race home, hug and kiss my kid, ask him how his day was, jump in the shower and get ready for my second job that I worked Monday through Friday from 4pm to 12:30am. I would get home beat and exhausted only to prepare myself for my weekend job as a hostess on Saturday and Sunday from 8am to 4:30pm. I was all about my money and making sure me and my son were well taken care of. Everything we had was because of me and I took great pride in that because nobody could say that the only reason I had what I had was because of them. No way!!! I made it happen. It was a sacrifice because I didn’t get to spend as much time with my son or my boyfriend, but I did what I felt I had to do at that time. I worked those three jobs a little over a year. It put me where I wanted to be financially and then I just worked two jobs part time, so it was like working one job and that was ok. I didn’t mind, it freed up some much needed time for the two guys in my life. Having more time on my hands, I decided that I needed to get my butt back to school so I can get that diploma I forfeited years ago because of my anxiety. Also, I wanted my son and parents to be proud of me. Show them that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. I felt that getting my diploma was a big deal. Once I completed my schooling, they gave us the option to participate in a full graduation ceremony with cap and gown and all that good stuff or receive the diploma by mail. I thought long and hard about that because I didn’t want to run away for a second time. I took a deep breath, looked at my son and thought, “I can do this.”, so I opted to participate. The day of graduation, as I was getting ready, I could feel my self starting to panic and I was feeling short of breath. I was like, oh no, here we go again. I had to take a minute to calm down and then I said to myself, “You’re doing this and that’s that!”. Once we arrived, my nerves were going haywire, I stared to perspire, and my legs were shaking, I was a mess. But, I still had a smile on my face. We all got into position and when they called my name, I thought I was going to faint. Seriously!! Everything just went black, my legs felt like jelly, I couldn’t move, I don’t even remember if I was breathing or not. One of the gals gave me a little tap on the shoulder that kind of snapped me out of it and I proceeded to accept my diploma. I could hear my family screaming and cheering me on and all I could think of was, I couldn’t get off that stage fast enough. Oh my gosh! I didn’t look out into the crowd or anything, my eyes were focused on the dude that was handing out the diplomas and that’s it. I did it though. I really did. The second we got out of that auditorium, I felt a sigh of relief, like I could breath again. My anxiety was subsiding and my claustrophobia seemed to follow suit. We went out to celebrate at none other than Peter Pipers Pizza. Haha. I’m a big kid and always will be, no matter how old I get.