Too Much Free Time
Since I was no longer in school, I had so much free time during the day. I didn’t really like that. I hated being home, I had to find something to do during the days to keep me busy and out of the house. The neighbor across the street approached me about a babysitting job. She had three kids and I’m not much of a kid person. I just didn’t like being around them too much, I still have those feelings to this day. Even though I have two kids of my own, I have my moments. Anyway, I decided to give it a shot, it was more money in my pocket and I was all about my money. So, I’d watch the kids at their house until four thirty and then I’d go right to work after. I did that for about five months, it was ok but these kids were off the wall. They made me so anxious it drove me to smoke even more. I wanted to try and quit smoking but that was not going to be easy. Finally I just had enough. I told her they were changing my hours at work so I couldn’t watch her kids anymore. She seemed to be pretty cool with it. I knew I was going to miss the extra cash, but my sanity (what little I had) was more important. I did pick up more hours at work, so that was a plus, it still wasn’t enough to keep me fully busy. I started to party again with my friends and I knew that was a bad idea because I was the one with money. It was always, buy that, get this, we’ll pay you back. Yeah!! Right!! I played along for a little while then just stopped taking their calls or made excuses why I couldn’t go out. I needed something more. I didn’t feel fulfilled. I had things I only dreamed of having one day, I could get what I wanted when I wanted. So, that was all good, but something again was missing. Maybe I was looking in all the wrong places.