Those Quiet Ones

As time went on and I’m just really realizing this right now, I didn’t have very much contact with grandma or any of the others for that matter. We probably lived a good twenty to thirty minutes away but visits were scarce and we pretty much just stayed on our side. I think we called or went to see her if it was her birthday or Mother’s Day or during certain holidays but that was it. I was living a whole other life now, school, working and finally making my own decisions for me. I wasn’t living in the older one’s shadow anymore, although I would still hear little comments every now and then about how I shoulda, coulda, woulda been more like the older one. It didn’t bother me as much anymore, it was whatever because I knew the older one played the sweet, innocent, polite, respectful individual to appease them, but I knew the real deal and they say the quiet ones are the worst ones. You have no idea how true that is. Or maybe some of you might. Those of us who are loud, outgoing, say what ever comes out of your mouth type of people are just out there. What you see is what you get. Those silent, quiet, shy people are the ones who hide behind their persona and lead you to believe they are a certain way when in reality they would be the first to stab you in the back. At least that’s how it was in my situation. I never felt like the older one would have my back if ever there was a confrontation or conflict. I knew I’d stand alone.



  1. I was a quiet one growing up, painfully shy at that. By eighteen I was ready to get out, anxious about it as a matter of fact. With an emotionally labile mother and somber father, I felt like it was every person for themselves. And my younger vocal sister had no problems speaking her mind about things – pushing the boundaries they set, challenging their opinions. Me, I just wanted out.
    Now they are 74 and 75 years old, less threatening, not so much in control as they were when I was a teen. As a matter of fact, they are needy of my time and attention.
    I am resentful, but I’m trying to do the right thing. Do I feel like I have a real relationship with them? No – I forfeited it because I didn’t have the courage to speak up.


    • I think every situation is different but similar, if that makes any sense. We all deal with our situations the best we know how at the time. Hearing what you said makes me think that the quiet ones are more controlled than us louder ones therefore they probably feel powerless and that’s why I think my older sib acted so deviantly when the parents weren’t around, because it was a power they couldn’t control because they couldn’t see it. Hmmm. Either way my older sib was terrible to me and all I ever did was look up to this person. As far as doing the right thing by your parents, again, I think we all handle our situations the best we know how and I commend you for trying to be there for them, I on the other hand did what I thought was right for me, not the donor. I could care less about that guy. I wouldn’t waste my time trying to build a relationship with him when he had all the time in the world to try to build one with me. Why wait till I’m older or an adult? Too little too late. But that’s just me. I know I probably come across harsh but that’s me dealing with it the best way I know how. Thank you for commenting and I wish you the best. 😊


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