The Outsider

I didn’t hear much more about the distant biological family, let alone hear from any of them. It just became out of sight, out of mind for me. I started working the second I was able to get my work permit. I was tired of not having nice things or things that I really wanted but grandma would never buy me. So, I figured, if I worked and earned money, nobody could tell me what to do with it. I could spend it however I pleased. It was great having money, I was able to buy new clothes and shoes every paycheck. Had money for lunch, movies, the mall or I’d just hang out with friends. It was awesome. My older bio-sib and I went to the same high school, but we had a different set of friends. We’d see each other every now again and would say hi from time to time, but never really hung out like that. They were more of the preppy crowd, where I, and my friends were the bad crowd (in their eyes). I had a variety of friends though, from every click. I had my “homies”, my “stoner” friends, my “thug” friends I even rocked with a few people from the preppy crowd. To me it didn’t matter, if you were cool with me, I’m cool with you. I never hated anybody because of who they hung around with. I was just me all the time and some of my friends couldn’t understand how I got along with pretty much everybody. Like it was a cardinal sin to socialize with those not in your group or something. It was whatever to me. Going to school and working right after until about ten in the evening kept me away from home and any drama. I loved it, I’d get home just in time to go straight to bed. There were a few incidents here and there but I just did my thing and tried to avoid any problems with the youngest half-sib. Once again, just feeling like an outsider, I added getting high to my list of ways to cope along with cutting myself. I started smoking weed every morning during my walks to school. I’d be high in class and would even fall asleep in some of my classes. No one ever suspected anything, I guess I was just really good at acting “normal”.

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