It makes me sad to think that I’m not a good parent. I do it all the time. I’m my worst enemy. I can’t help it though, I look at my two kids which were both born perfectly healthy thank goodness and I feel bad for them. For one, I feel like a fraud, putting up this front like everything is ok when it’s seriously not. But I’m the parent, I have to be strong so I can take care of them. If they know I’m broken then they might not want me or love me because I can’t do anything for them. Another thing, I wasn’t always this way and there is still a part of me that believes that the once vibrant, outgoing, outspoken, fun loving, happy go lucky me is still somewhere in here. I just wish I wasn’t so lost. Last but not least, I always feel like they would have been better off with a different parent, other than myself. Maybe they’d be happier and their lives would be more fulfilled and exciting than this plain ol’ boring life I’ve given them. I told you I was my own worst enemy.