Desperate to feel like I belong, trying hard to figure out where I went wrong. Can’t see a future because it’s blocked with the past, all my firsts appear to be my last, in some ways it’s good and in others it’s bad, another reminder of what I could have had. Happiness seems like a mythical creature, like something out of a SyFy feature. If it doesn’t exist how can it be, is there no happily ever after for someone like me. A polluted cloud of self destruction patiently awaits, as my mind breaks down and slowly contemplates. To find ones self where would one start, and don’t you dare say begin at the heart. I’ve searched deep within and high and low, I don’t believe there’s any where else to go. I am on a quest to find a new me, because the old one is broken and only I can see.