Isolation

One of the down falls to having depression and insomnia is isolating yourself. The depression keeps me from wanting to be around people while the insomnia has me so exhausted that even if I wanted to be out, I don’t have the energy to do so. I’m here in my room doing absolutely nothing, while the spouse is out with family. As much as I would like to hang out and be social, it’s just not who I am anymore. I feel like a stranger amongst family and friends. No connection, nothing in common. I can’t even hold a decent conversation because I’m afraid to make eye contact for fear that they might see the pain and suffering behind the smile. So it’s the same old excuse, I’m not feeling well or I have a terrible migraine. At some point they’ll have to start to wonder right? Or am I just that good at isolating myself?

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4 Comments

  1. Why are you doing this to your selves? Don’t you think it is better to let them know.
    If you are afraid of the pain they might feel knowing about yours, think about the pain you will be causing them when they later find out that you did not even consider them good enough to share your pain.
    Friends and family are not only meant to share happiness and good times. They are called friends and family for a reason. They stay with is through all the good and bad times. Please try to share. Try your best to share with them or at least seek some help from outside like a psychiatrist or someone else. Just don’t let this depression build castles within.

    Like

    • Anonymous

      I don’t want to be a burden on anyone and this blog isn’t meant for me to be a burden on any of you. Writing these blogs is somewhat my way of seeking help.

      Like

      • I’m sorry if i sounded that way. But i never meant to say that you are a burden. Whatever you think is good for you, just do it. I just don’t want you give up. Nothing else.

        Like

    • Oh no, I didn’t take it that way. I was just saying that I didn’t want to be a burden because most if the time I feel like I am. Not because of anything you said. Goodness no. I appreciate and welcome your comments.

      Like

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